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You can find an age mate, or you could find someone who really doesn't care about age.I don't think that all men pick on the basis of age.So if you really like this guy, at some point you should open up more of your world to him. But I think most of the things that apply to heterosexual relationships have resonance with same-sex relationships.Question from Fran in San Fran: You don't mention a lot about homosexuals dating. Of course there are some differences, and I would be sensitive to those differences. Join singles groups that do the activities you love.I think people should go out with the people they are attracted to.We don't call Demi Moore a cougar — we just think of her as beautiful, famous, talented, and with good taste. But I don't think that attraction is all about how you look. And if you pick somebody who you feel good with, your friends will be happy for you. You will be around someone who shares your passions, and have a lot to discuss.PS: I think day trips for singles are a good idea, or maybe even three days.But a longer trip, if you don't really find someone interesting, would be a problem if you were trapped, say, on a boat or mountaintop.

And the great thing is, whether you prefer chatting extensively with your new crush first or a little fantasy in your play, there are diverse options to suit your every whim and desire.But just so you know, I was the lead witness against the don't-ask-don't-tell rule in federal court and I testified for gay marriage in Hawaii, and for gay adoption and foster-child placement in Arkansas. Just because you have had some intimate relationships that didn't work out, that doesn't predict the future. If you like to hike, you are likely to meet men who like to hike in a hiking club.So please feel free to ask me questions that involve same-sex relationships, and I will be glad to try to be helpful. » Question from Sarah: I'm worried I have too much baggage to go back out there after a couple of failed marriages. On the other hand, if you don't think you know what ended those relationships and you don't feel wiser and more capable of a relationship now, then you should go see a therapist or counselor so you can solve some of your previous problems and get rid of the baggage. I haven't found anyone who likes to do the same things I do since my husband. If you like opera, join a group that supports opera.Question from Barbara: I'm currently dating a gentleman very sweet in every aspect. It is very intimate to let someone into your home and it may set up expectations for a fuller relationship that you're not ready for.We both are widowed, and we have gone out, but I'm not ready to invite him into my home. Still, there is an arch to relationships: They either get more or less intimate. It hasn't been clear that someone was asking the question about a gay relationship.

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